The mood of a creative is anything but steady. We experience so many emotions in one day. It’s not that we are emotional or moody (make no mistake though, we are extremely passionate people), it is more of balancing the times when we feel the creative magic and then when it escapes us. When our muses aren’t speaking to us, wherever they come from, it can be a sad, depressing time. I can understand why some of us resort to destructive coping mechanisms. When the magic is flowing and the muses are singing, it is pure joy – and it is damn addicting. Having to lead a double life is terribly frustrating. Being a creative who is forced to work a corporate job sure can be tough. The magic will hit and I will be stuck behind my desk, trapped within the confines of my four windowless walls. Netted by corporate America with no ability to use the gift of the magic. No way to create. Unwillingly, I have to box it up neatly, store it away, carry on with my job, and hope that when I get back to my studio the magic will still be fresh enough to help me create.
The struggle I have encountered most recently is I don’t feel like my work is up to par. I am not sure whose standard I am trying to meet, but I haven’t felt like a real artist/maker/designer/creator. Simply someone who assembles other’s ideas. It’s been a frustrating and murky place to be in. I recently shared my work with someone who had no clue about my double life. The response was incredible.
Kristin... Kris... Seriously... Holy shit. You're insanely talented. I had no idea. NONE. It's not like I thought you were bereft of talent or anything like that. I just had no idea that you were capable of this. It's brilliant. I love the name, the aesthetic, the purpose... everything about it! It's uniquely you. DO THIS. DO IT. Don't look back.
I needed that. In a bad way. I needed someone to remind me that I have to push forward through these tough times. That this is my calling. So, here I am. Doing it & not looking back.